I was adrift on waves of feelings swirling circles about my mind wondering if I had the strengthto decide it was your time.
Did I have the right to make this choice that would change our lives forever,did I have the will to sacrifice our precious time together?
Was I wrong in thinking of myself while you grew so frail and weak,was I selfish in my desperate need to have you here with me to keep? Into your bright eyes I searched and found within your soul,the echo of a far-seen wisdom the kind which only angels know.
You gently rocked my broken heart and with angelic calm you lifted all the guilt I felt for wanting to hold on.You showed me that the choice with which I felt so wrecked and tornlay upon a path God paved the day that you were born.
Somehow you made me understandthe choice was never mine,it had been appointed long before , in another place and time.
So as I lay you down to sleepy our eternal spirit shines and our paths will cross again someday angel of mine.
Written by Terri Onorato
copyrighted © by Terri Onorato
Friday, July 18, 2008
Gone
Day by day I think of you, How can all of this be true? I can't believe you're really gone, I still can't accept it, Even after so long. Just the thought of you makes me cry, I never even got the chance to say goodbye. Every picture, every letter, I don't know if it will ever get better.
I never imagined you'd ever be so far away
And I loved you like no other. In my heart you'll always be
But now I have to let you rest, Although without you my world's a mess. I miss you with all of my heart, I wish we never had to part. I know you're always by my side, So now I guess this is my goodbye...
Rest in Peace
© Christina A. Covarrubia
I never imagined you'd ever be so far away
And I loved you like no other. In my heart you'll always be
But now I have to let you rest, Although without you my world's a mess. I miss you with all of my heart, I wish we never had to part. I know you're always by my side, So now I guess this is my goodbye...
Rest in Peace
© Christina A. Covarrubia
My dad
I know this man Who is dear to my heart Suddenly one day It was torn all apart
This man taught me every thing That I needed to know But I never really listened Until he had to go
He gave me love And touched my life Its all over now He no longer has to fight He tried to teach me Right for wrong
The day he left I wasn't that strong He is gone now It is hard to believe This man is my dad Who I will never see
But I will see him again This I know The day will come When its time for me to go So, I'll hold him dear And close to my heart Cause the day we meet I know we'll never be torn apart.
© Disarae G. Kuhn
This man taught me every thing That I needed to know But I never really listened Until he had to go
He gave me love And touched my life Its all over now He no longer has to fight He tried to teach me Right for wrong
The day he left I wasn't that strong He is gone now It is hard to believe This man is my dad Who I will never see
But I will see him again This I know The day will come When its time for me to go So, I'll hold him dear And close to my heart Cause the day we meet I know we'll never be torn apart.
© Disarae G. Kuhn
The death of a mother is the hardest to bear for she is the one who is there for us the most. In her life she has shown child a path to follow
Sleep Mom
Sweet smile on your face as you sleep the pain away, Resting in God's arms now, although in the ground your body lay. He needed another angel in the Heavenly choir and that's why you had to go. As you promised, you are still with us watching your children here below.
I never would have imagined the end would be like this, me comforting you. Holding your hand, telling you not to worry was not an easy thing for me to do. And even in your weakest hour you tried to comfort me too, Caressing my face, and calming my soul as only a mother can soothe.
You have always been there through the thick and the thin No matter what I've done, unconditionally you love never wavering. When I told you of the mistakes I made and all the times people saw me fall You simply nodded and gently replied 'so have we all'. The key to success is learning from the past Ensuring a brighter future is now the present task.
A pillar of strength even until the end Fighting all life's battles, knowing it's triumphantly you would win Pushing me to be the best that you know I can be
Reminding me to keep the faith and allow G-d to lead me. Knowing it's through G-d that I can do all things And as He never makes a mistake I will come through victoriously.
I miss you more than these words could ever say The pain in my heart is from one unimaginable day After I cried all that I could; my eyes still shed countless more tears And when I try to sleep, I have nightmares of ten-thousand fears I walk in footsteps on an unsure path My load feels so heavy I am not sure I will last.
Silly though I may be I am afraid of life now that you're gone Because I've always had a mother. . I wish you could have stayed just a little while longer, there's so much left to do I wonder if I prayed hard enough and if so, did they get through. Finding relief in knowing I will see you again someday soon Remembering all you taught me as
© Kimberli A. Hardiman
Sweet smile on your face as you sleep the pain away, Resting in God's arms now, although in the ground your body lay. He needed another angel in the Heavenly choir and that's why you had to go. As you promised, you are still with us watching your children here below.
I never would have imagined the end would be like this, me comforting you. Holding your hand, telling you not to worry was not an easy thing for me to do. And even in your weakest hour you tried to comfort me too, Caressing my face, and calming my soul as only a mother can soothe.
You have always been there through the thick and the thin No matter what I've done, unconditionally you love never wavering. When I told you of the mistakes I made and all the times people saw me fall You simply nodded and gently replied 'so have we all'. The key to success is learning from the past Ensuring a brighter future is now the present task.
A pillar of strength even until the end Fighting all life's battles, knowing it's triumphantly you would win Pushing me to be the best that you know I can be
Reminding me to keep the faith and allow G-d to lead me. Knowing it's through G-d that I can do all things And as He never makes a mistake I will come through victoriously.
I miss you more than these words could ever say The pain in my heart is from one unimaginable day After I cried all that I could; my eyes still shed countless more tears And when I try to sleep, I have nightmares of ten-thousand fears I walk in footsteps on an unsure path My load feels so heavy I am not sure I will last.
Silly though I may be I am afraid of life now that you're gone Because I've always had a mother. . I wish you could have stayed just a little while longer, there's so much left to do I wonder if I prayed hard enough and if so, did they get through. Finding relief in knowing I will see you again someday soon Remembering all you taught me as
© Kimberli A. Hardiman
Grief and Grieving
Grief is your emotional reaction to a significant loss. The words sorrow and heartache are often used to describe feelings of grief. Whether you lose a beloved person, animal, place, or object, or a valued way of life (such as your job, marriage, or good health), some level of grief will naturally follow.
Anticipatory grief is grief that strikes in advance of an impending loss. You may feel anticipatory grief for a loved one who is sick and dying. Similarly, both children and adults often feel the pain of losses brought on by an upcoming move or divorce. This anticipatory grief helps us prepare for such losses.
What is grieving?
Grieving is the process of emotional and life adjustment you go through after a loss. Grieving after a loved one's death is also known as bereavement.
Grieving is a personal experience. Depending on who you are and the nature of your loss, your process of grieving will be different from another person's experience. There is no "normal and expected" period of time for grieving. Some people adjust to a new life within several weeks or months. Others take a year or more, particularly when their daily life has been radically changed or their loss was traumatic and unexpected.
What are common symptoms of grief and grieving?
A wide range of feelings and symptoms are common during grieving. While feeling shock, numbness, sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, or fear, you may also find moments of relief, peace, or happiness. While grieving is not simply sadness, "the blues," or depression, you may become depressed or overly anxious during the grieving process.
The stress of grief and grieving can take a physical toll on your body. Sleeplessness is common, as is a weakened immune system over time. If you have a chronic illness, grieving can make your condition worse.
Although it may be possible to postpone grieving, it is not possible to avoid grieving altogether. If life circumstances make it difficult for you to stop, feel, and live through the grieving process, you can expect grief to eventually erupt sometime in the future. In the meantime, unresolved grief can affect your quality of life and relationships with others.
Anticipatory grief is grief that strikes in advance of an impending loss. You may feel anticipatory grief for a loved one who is sick and dying. Similarly, both children and adults often feel the pain of losses brought on by an upcoming move or divorce. This anticipatory grief helps us prepare for such losses.
What is grieving?
Grieving is the process of emotional and life adjustment you go through after a loss. Grieving after a loved one's death is also known as bereavement.
Grieving is a personal experience. Depending on who you are and the nature of your loss, your process of grieving will be different from another person's experience. There is no "normal and expected" period of time for grieving. Some people adjust to a new life within several weeks or months. Others take a year or more, particularly when their daily life has been radically changed or their loss was traumatic and unexpected.
What are common symptoms of grief and grieving?
A wide range of feelings and symptoms are common during grieving. While feeling shock, numbness, sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, or fear, you may also find moments of relief, peace, or happiness. While grieving is not simply sadness, "the blues," or depression, you may become depressed or overly anxious during the grieving process.
The stress of grief and grieving can take a physical toll on your body. Sleeplessness is common, as is a weakened immune system over time. If you have a chronic illness, grieving can make your condition worse.
Although it may be possible to postpone grieving, it is not possible to avoid grieving altogether. If life circumstances make it difficult for you to stop, feel, and live through the grieving process, you can expect grief to eventually erupt sometime in the future. In the meantime, unresolved grief can affect your quality of life and relationships with others.
Food for thought: quotes about grief
There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief. ~ Aeschylus
There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. ~ Author Unknown
Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow. ~ Dan Rather
For everything there is a season, And a time for every matter under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; A time to seek, and a time to lose; A time to keep, and a time to throw away; A time to tear, and a time to sew; A time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate, A time for war, and a time for peace. ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief. But the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love. ~ Hilary Stanton Zunin
You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present. ~ Jan Glidewell
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with. ~ Mark Twain
Grief is a journey, often perilous and without clear direction, that must be taken. The experience of grieving cannot be ordered or categorized, hurried or controlled, pushed aside or ignored indefinitely. It is inevitable as breathing, as change, as love. It may be postponed, but it will not be denied. ~ Molly Fumia
Suppressed grief suffocates, it rages within the breast, and is forced to multiply its strength. ~ Ovid
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. ~ Robert Frost
There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. ~ Author Unknown
Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow. ~ Dan Rather
For everything there is a season, And a time for every matter under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; A time to seek, and a time to lose; A time to keep, and a time to throw away; A time to tear, and a time to sew; A time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate, A time for war, and a time for peace. ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief. But the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love. ~ Hilary Stanton Zunin
You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present. ~ Jan Glidewell
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with. ~ Mark Twain
Grief is a journey, often perilous and without clear direction, that must be taken. The experience of grieving cannot be ordered or categorized, hurried or controlled, pushed aside or ignored indefinitely. It is inevitable as breathing, as change, as love. It may be postponed, but it will not be denied. ~ Molly Fumia
Suppressed grief suffocates, it rages within the breast, and is forced to multiply its strength. ~ Ovid
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. ~ Robert Frost
Grieving responses
Grieving responses
When you are grieving over the death of your loved one, your body, your mind, your feelings, your behaviour, and your spirituality may go through major changes. And very often these changes are normal responses to your loss. For example,
When your body
does not want to eat or wants to eat too much
does not want to sleep or wants to sleep too much
loses or gains significant weight over a short period of time
experiences physical symptoms such as hollowness in the stomach, breathlessness, weakness of muscles, nausea, headache, gastric and chest pain (if symptoms persist please consult your doctor)
When you think
that you are going crazy
of your loved one all the time
that you are all alone in this grieving journey
that your future is hopeless
that you cannot live without your loved one
When you feel
sad
depressed
angry
fearful
guilty
numb
When you behave in certain ways such as
crying
isolating yourself from people
wanting to be surrounded by people all the time
not wanting to talk to anyone
talking about your loved one all the time
holding on to your loved one’s belongings
giving away your loved one’s belongings
visiting the cemetery regularly
increasing your consumption of non-prescription drugs or alcohol (this may be a normal coping response for some people but it is certainly not helpful in grieving)
When you question
previously held beliefs regarding the existence or goodness of God or a higher power
your own existence
the purpose and meaning of your life
the existence of life after death, or heaven and hell
When you are grieving over the death of your loved one, your body, your mind, your feelings, your behaviour, and your spirituality may go through major changes. And very often these changes are normal responses to your loss. For example,
When your body
does not want to eat or wants to eat too much
does not want to sleep or wants to sleep too much
loses or gains significant weight over a short period of time
experiences physical symptoms such as hollowness in the stomach, breathlessness, weakness of muscles, nausea, headache, gastric and chest pain (if symptoms persist please consult your doctor)
When you think
that you are going crazy
of your loved one all the time
that you are all alone in this grieving journey
that your future is hopeless
that you cannot live without your loved one
When you feel
sad
depressed
angry
fearful
guilty
numb
When you behave in certain ways such as
crying
isolating yourself from people
wanting to be surrounded by people all the time
not wanting to talk to anyone
talking about your loved one all the time
holding on to your loved one’s belongings
giving away your loved one’s belongings
visiting the cemetery regularly
increasing your consumption of non-prescription drugs or alcohol (this may be a normal coping response for some people but it is certainly not helpful in grieving)
When you question
previously held beliefs regarding the existence or goodness of God or a higher power
your own existence
the purpose and meaning of your life
the existence of life after death, or heaven and hell
Growing with grief
If you perceive grief as stages, then you will expect to go through a few stages of an emotional roller-coaster ride before you reach the stage of resolution. To you, grief is linear, predictable and has an end. It is something that needs to be resolved.
If you perceive grief as a series of tasks to be completed, then you will invest your time and energy to finish these tasks. To you, grief is hard work but rewarding.
There is a sense of purpose and fulfilment when you complete each task. Grief is something that needs to be completed.
If you perceive grief as a continuous journey that is made up of many seasons, then you will be open to embracing the different seasons of change. To you, grief is a life long pilgrimage. It is something that you will need to live and grow with.
In conclusion, there are many ways to move on, just like there are many ways to grieve.
If you perceive grief as a series of tasks to be completed, then you will invest your time and energy to finish these tasks. To you, grief is hard work but rewarding.
There is a sense of purpose and fulfilment when you complete each task. Grief is something that needs to be completed.
If you perceive grief as a continuous journey that is made up of many seasons, then you will be open to embracing the different seasons of change. To you, grief is a life long pilgrimage. It is something that you will need to live and grow with.
In conclusion, there are many ways to move on, just like there are many ways to grieve.
Grief metaphors
No one can really tell you what it is like to grieve. To truly understand the process, you must experience it yourself. However, metaphors can give us a glimpse of the grieving experience. They also give us some insights into the grief journey -- a universal journey that you and others may have gone through and will continue to go through.
Here are some interesting grief metaphors:
"Grief is like a labyrinth. A labyrinth is not a maze as there are no dead ends and no wrong turnings. There is only one way -- forward." (Artress, no date)
"Grief is a graceful, periodic, deliberate walk backwards while keeping a sure foot in living forward." (Moules, Simonson, Prins, Angus, and Bell, 2004)
Grief is like riding an emotional roller-coaster. You will surely go through the ups and downs when you are on the ride.
Grief is like climbing a mountain. At first, the slope is steep. The journey is hard. Then you reach a plain field where you can stop and rest before you continue the climb. At last you reach the mountain top! Just when you think the hiking is over, you see another peak. There is one more to conquer. So you choose to walk down to the mountain valley before you climb up to the next mountain. Though the valley is deep, it is necessary. And with past climbing experience and training, you are more equipped for this now
Here are some interesting grief metaphors:
"Grief is like a labyrinth. A labyrinth is not a maze as there are no dead ends and no wrong turnings. There is only one way -- forward." (Artress, no date)
"Grief is a graceful, periodic, deliberate walk backwards while keeping a sure foot in living forward." (Moules, Simonson, Prins, Angus, and Bell, 2004)
Grief is like riding an emotional roller-coaster. You will surely go through the ups and downs when you are on the ride.
Grief is like climbing a mountain. At first, the slope is steep. The journey is hard. Then you reach a plain field where you can stop and rest before you continue the climb. At last you reach the mountain top! Just when you think the hiking is over, you see another peak. There is one more to conquer. So you choose to walk down to the mountain valley before you climb up to the next mountain. Though the valley is deep, it is necessary. And with past climbing experience and training, you are more equipped for this now
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